The Adventures Perils of Potty Training

About a month before our threenager started preschool, it was time.  It was time to push this potty training business.  Our daughter seemed to be pretty content with pooping her pants forever and while she may not have been that ready to start potty training, we sure as hell were.  That and we were paying for preschool and she had to be in a pull-up to attend. It’s not that we have not tried to slowly introduce the business of the bathroom to this girl.  There has been a little potty available for use since she was 18 months.  So, I had a good stretch off from work and I arranged my schedule to where no errands needed to happen in a that three day work hiatus and we stayed in our house like a prison.  The first day was rough, the second day was better and by the third she seemed to be getting the hang of it…except pooping. And while she has continued to do mostly well—there are still days of regression.  Maybe it is because of the use of pull-ups over plain underwear but I’m pretty sure that she just has lazy days, too.  Those lazy days just include peeing her pants.

     The shopping list in preparation of potty training:

1. Paper towels (don’t be stingy and get the 1-2 pack. This business needs the 12 pack…and maybe even 2 of those.)
2. TP and flushable wipes
3. Carpet cleaner (I recommend Nature’s Miracle.  It’s found at the pet stores and great for urine.  It can be used on hard surfaces, carpet, and the microfiber sectional)
4. Clorox wipes
5. Miralax and/or pediatric Colace (If you have a poop withholding child, treat it before it becomes an issue where you have to take them to the ED for them to do an X-ray and tell you that your child is FOP or Full O' Poop)
6. Potty with an ADEQUATE splash guard (I'm pretty sure after this experience there is no splash guard adequate for a girl)
7. Coffee
8. Wine
9. Dresses or long shirts
10. Toddler underwear
11. Pull-ups (if using)

Now.  You already know to reel in your patience and try to be encouraging when your child pees on the floor…or couch…or over the potty seat for the umpteenth time.  But there are some other things you might need g and situations you need to anticipate that you may not realize can occur:

• I have new carpet as of February of this year.  So every time she has had an accident on my beautiful, clean, new carpet, I have cringed a little.  It may not have been wise to change out the carpet before we began this process.  However, unlike the old builders-grade carpet we had before, this carpet does have some awesome stain resistant qualities so clean up has not been as bad as it could have been. 
• Good AC/Heat control.  Your kid is running around naked or only top-clothed.  Don’t make them freeze!
• A couch with cushion covers that can zip off and be tossed in the wash has been one of the greatest inventions ever.
• A somewhat comfortable existence with the hoohah that is flying all over your house free as a bird. 
• Towels and blankets—I know this seems like a given but it is not for mopping up the messes, that is what the paper towels are for.  You need these to put on the wet spots after they have been cleaned/disinfected because they will still be wet—and you do not want your baby crawling through that.  If you do not have a baby, you don’t want to keep stepping in the same wet spot you keep forgetting about. Trust me, if there is a wet spot, my husband will find it while wearing socks (and one of his biggest pet peeves is stepping in a wet something while wearing socks).
• A rock solid stomach as you may be cleaning up turds from the carpet…or the threenagers foot.
• You already know you’ll be cleaning accidents but accidents come in many different forms.  There was one day that if my daughter peed over the potty on more time I was going to lose it.  So we moved her to the big potty.  The problem is mostly remedied except when she decides to sit too close to the edge…and then I'm mopping pee again.
• Also, your child will say they need to poop and you’ll rush them to the potty, only to find a turd already in the pants that you just caught with your hand….ew. Just ew.
• Despite being a clean freak, you’ll inevitably miss a spot of pee somewhere and keep getting whiffs of it and then clean like a madwoman in an effort to find said spot.
• Before potty training, when the littlest Ali would go down for his afternoon nap, I could catch 15-20 minutes to catnap on the couch by putting on a show and giving the threenager some milk.  Now that she is potty-trained, every 10 minutes she asks to go…bye-bye catnaps.
• PAS or Poop Attention Seeking behavior. One afternoon, my daughter kept saying she had to poop and I must have put her on the potty at least 20 times in 2 hours with no result.  All during those two hours I was also dealing with her cranky, teething brother and attempting to make dinner.  By the 20^th time I had had it and she spent a half hour in room because I realized that she was just asking for attention.  This is also similar to MSATP syndrome or MUST SEE ALL THE POTTIES Syndrome—where you are out running errands and they insist on going potty, only to do nothing but just see another bathroom. Because, you know, it’s easy to do this all one-handed while holding the baby and holding your wallet…

Some children may potty-train overnight but that is not the case for my child (This was also not the case for me, according to my mother.).  Even now, I’ll cancel outings/errands to just stay home and reinforce potty time because I will notice some regression.  Her comfort with asking for the potty while we are out in public is also limited and often results in a wet pull-up. Can't blame her--public toilets are scary (Actually, she's not afraid of the loud flushing public toilet.  However, if one of those super hand dryers are present you would think the zombie apocalypse is upon us.)

So for 2+ months, we have coasted on this wave that is potty training.  Many wipe-outs have occurred (pun intended) and some days are better than others. She is mostly going in the potty and I guess that's a partial win. We are a couple weeks into the school year and so far she goes for her teacher or teacher aides with no problem.  Just like with any new phase, it will get better with time...I hope.  

Stay tuned.  My husband and my notoriously hangry self did a juice fast and we have to tell you all about it...

The Countdown to Preschool in the Ali House

In one week, our daughter will start her first day of preschool.  For 2.5 hours, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I will only have one child to attend to.  That is 7.5 hours per week.  Other moms I talk to are sad and weepy about their child going to school.  Me?  I’ll be dancing out the door. 

I love my daughter.  She is spirited, goofy and sweet.  She is also stubborn as hell and strong-willed.  She also needs more entertainment than what her 10 month old brother and I can provide.  Let me explain what I get a break from while she is going to be at school:

1. Asking every 5 minutes of every waking hour if she needs to go potty (Only for her to say NO.  She still goes in the potty.  I’d say she’s about 75% percent trained, which is good enough for her to attend school.)
2. Trying to develop her abstract thought.  This is so frustrating—while I realize she is only 3, some days she looks at me like I have 5 heads when I ask her to do something.  Like, she has never heard me ask before or that I speak a totally different language.  We’ve also been trying to get her to have normal conversations, which inevitably is a losing battle.  Conversations like:             Me: What is your name?
   R: NAMEEEEEEEE
   Me: No.  I’m asking what your name is.  What is your name?
   R: NAMEEEEEEEEE
   Me: No. You answer “My name is….”
   R: MynameisRayaI’mthreeyearsold. (Said hardly intelligible to those who don’t know what I call “Rayanese”)
   Me: ::sigh and faceplam::
3. Asking her 3 times in a calm voice to clean up some toys.  Only to escalate to threats and psycho-mom voice when she continues to just kick them around rather than put them in the effing plastic bin where they belong.
4. Trying to determine WHAT THE HELL she will eat today, if anything.  The hunger strike since the beginning summer is still going strong.  I fight every day for her to eat something rather than drinking milk all day. 
5. From her asking to watch Mickey, Bubble Guppies Halloween, Einsteins, “Doggy” (El Perro y El Gato) and Miles from Tomorrowland.
6. Thinking of ways to entertain her, especially after I got off work late and then they wake me up at 630a for the day.  Her brother will likely take his morning nap during her school hours and I get to act like I have only one kid for 2.5 hours and can actually get a nap in myself, if needed.
7. Errand running with 2 kids. Or even Doctors’ visits with 2 kids! 

Sure, I’m going to miss some aspects of our normal daily life while she is at school.  Things like:

1. Her and he brother playing so awesomely together.
2. Her cuddles, hugs and kisses.
3. A relatively germ free house because we have been lucky enough to not have to use daycare and have family in the area to care for the kids when we work.  School is about to alter this healthy status rapidly. Vitamins for everybody!

Now.  In a week—my attitude my change drastically .  I may be that weepy mom wiping tears away as she lets go of my hand without a glance over her shoulder to experience new things and make friends.  But, I have high hopes that preschool will make up what I have been lacking in getting her language skills developed and really help tune her into the model citizen that I try every day to achieve.  I hope that she will remember to say please, thank you and no thank you.  I hope that having other kids use the potty will encourage her to be more independent in her toileting.  I hope that while she may not eat much when she comes home, she will try whatever snacks that are served.  I hope she will learn that the worlds is hers to develop and change. 

Who am I kidding?  I just hope she learns to form a sentence with the added bonus of wiping her own ass. 

To be continued once she actually starts school next week :)