American is great, but we have to work to keep it that way.

Today starts a hard morning for many of us who were hoping to wake up to America’s first female president. The majority of my friends and where we live are feeling many emotions: disbelief, sadness, numbness…some of us may even move through the 5 stages of grief over the coming weeks and months. The grieving process is fluid and you can regress back to the different stages of it many times. You never fully get over losing something or someone in your life—you will miss them, and while the frequency changes over time as you get used to them not being there, you still will have bad days. While moving through the stages, some days will seem like you’re feeling all of them at once, and other days much less dramatic. Denial/Isolation (and I think apathy can fit here, as well), Anger, Bargaining, Depression…I’ve felt many of these emotions in full force and it is only 6AM the morning after Election Day.

The final part of the grieving process is acceptance. And it is true—America has spoken, states and areas that were once blue voted red this election, and it is nothing short of a huge upset, at least for those of us in our coastal/city highly populated and very progressive areas. I am scared, but I need to have trust in our government, which has the system it does to ensure that our President is part of a democratic process and not a dictator. However, despite my disappointment, I have already started my process of trying to accept the results. The main reason being that I have watched the majority of the American population – this same population that showed up at the polls for Mr. Trump, disrespect and say horrible things about our current President for 8 years. And, while I am not in agreement of the results today, I will not be that American. I don’t have to like the man that has been elected, but he is our President come January, and I will respect his title.

We, as supporters of Democratic/Third/Green/Alternative parties, need to continue to go high here, folks. We pride ourselves in our acceptance of differences—of other races, customs and beliefs, of the total LGTBQ community, and of women’s and general human rights. With the help of social media, it was easy to feel like the majority that would have swayed this election the other way—because friending and unfriending gives us a false sense of power and egocentrism. The “all of my Facebook friends are voting for Hillary, so how did we get here” mindset. I’ve lived in the suburbs of DC my entire life, and in the notoriously blue state of Maryland. I don’t understand “Trump country” and those who occupy it. But, I need to. Their opinion and beliefs are still things that I need to accept and respect as we are ALL American citizens.

We need to educate each other, and not continue to divide. We can all get along if we try to understand and empathize where we all come from in our values. Hard stops for me will continue to be anything HATEFUL towards any of the populations that occupy our wonderful and already great country. That shit is just not tolerated in this house and shouldn’t be in yours either. However, because of my chosen profession and my interracial marriage—It is a part of my entire being to try to understand where others come from and why they are the way they are. In 9 years of nursing, I have treated all races, backgrounds, and social classes. In these experiences, I have come to understand that you are a direct product of your surroundings and what you know. I do not know what is like to be black, brown, Hispanic, poor, rich, a man, a Muslim, a Jew, etc. I only have some insight, but I can never fully understand. I only know the privilege I have had as a white middle-class citizen. There are people in this country who fight every day to put food on the table, who have no credit, who have to fight for work, for education, for respect, and for health. There are people who have felt left behind during Obama’s presidency and feel that our elected president is the change that America needs. And guys, it is a large part of that map that is red—and we should all try to understand each other.

So, move through your grief and come to acceptance. Your children and families deserve to see a graceful example and you need to lead within your households as you wish to be lead in your country. Be fair, be pragmatic, have love in your heart, accept the differences, and educate. And lastly, move forward. Continue to fight for equality and for those less fortunate than yourself.