The 10 Commandments of Picky Eating

1. Thou shalt eat everything at least once in your short life and then dwindle down the approved list of foods to less than 10 items.
2. At a random moment, Thou shalt eat something NOT on the approved food list…but definitely never touch it again.
3. Thou shalt eat only take-out or fast food forms of some approved foods consistently (i.e. French fries and ketchup, Peruvian pollo a la brasa, Peruvian rice and beans) but the second Mom tries to serve the exact same homemade item, thou shalt poo-poo it.
4. Thou shalt decide that you really don’t want to eat peanut butter sandwiches for like 3 weeks causing your mother angst that you subsist on nothing but goldfish crackers and milk.
5. Thou shalt become a little twit because you are really HANGRY but refuse to eat.
6. Thou shalt refuse any approved items if made differently that what you are used to (ie. Black raspberry jam ONLY on the pbj, and not on wheat bread because that is blasphemous! And no, Annie’s cheddar bunnies are NOT the same as goldfish…)
7. Thou shalt freak out when constipated even though it is your diet choices that caused the unfortunate condition.
8. Thou shalt demand to eat weird things like your baby brother’s rice puffs (that have no nutritional value, by the way), but only the Gerber ones.  Plum and Happy Baby? No way, Jose.
9. Thou shalt drive your mother crazy as she tries to be a short-order cook. Every. Single. Day.
10. Thou shalt constantly remind your mother that pay back is a bitch, as she did this to her own mother and survived solely on baked potatoes and waffles for months on end.  Realize, though, that this is apparently genetic and that your time will come ::insert evil laugh here::